Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize