I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
