you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
