you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction