forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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