If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have so many feelings about this burrito
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating