I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
