im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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