I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
