Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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