VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
