this beer tastes like vomit already
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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