For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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