Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so much tequila, so little girl.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
