We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
