I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
