I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
