thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
