He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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