I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
