I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
