All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you would pick up someone in the library
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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