About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PANTIES FOUND
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