is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize