And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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