I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
