This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
