it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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