Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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