Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
