I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
