I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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