You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
