The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
