dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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