the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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