I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
