Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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