I CAN MOONWALK!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
