Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
