and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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