Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
