You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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