i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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