she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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