I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
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Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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