remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
