I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize