New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
