Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
