Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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