i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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