it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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