His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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