Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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