R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
