Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
