Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The air was thick with penises
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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