First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize